


It's Not What You Think

by 52_CARDS



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gay, Ghost is still British, M/M, Military Inaccuracies, Roach is America
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/52_CARDS/pseuds/52_CARDS
Summary: After a week of constant back-to-back missions, Roach has more work waiting for him at the office. It’s not easy being a soldier, but that doesn’t mean soldiers don’t have emotions. Luckily, he has company to comfort and distract him from his hardships.
Relationships: Simon "Ghost" Riley/Gary "Roach" Sanderson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

Roach was extremely exhausted when he got off the plane. The gear on his back and the gun in his hand was taking a heavy toll on him. It wasn’t Roach’s first mission but considering his back-to-back missions in the last week. It reminded him how tough this job can get. It didn’t matter if he was tired or he wasn’t ready, he needed to be ready. He and the rest of the team needed to be ready to move out at any time. 

Along with that, they needed to know that death can come at any moment. In blazing glory or in the most humiliating way, Roach learn that death doesn’t give a shit. It’ll come.

Luckily, that day wasn’t today. . . but it was close. Roach touch the wound on his left cheek. It was small flesh wound. A red streak around his cheek. If he had to guess, a stray bullet grazed him.

They were fighting in enclosed cement bunker. The enemy had no clue about their exact location, but they fire pretty close to them. The team fired back and of course; the bullets would try to come back. Everyone’s bullets kept flying even after hitting the walls. A total shit-show.

Curiosity was in the back of his head. Whose bullet wound his cheek? 

Ignorance was truly a bliss. 

The only way someone could know for sure was that if he got hit. The bullet could have told him which side hit him. If he went out as a solder or as idiot that got hit from his own team. Then again, if he died and he was left behind. The mystery would remain.

The army would have chalk it up to “fighting for his country in his final moments.” It doesn’t sound too bad, but Roach doesn’t want to plan his glory death. He prefers the latter and avoid a spotlight death.

Roach check the safely lock on his gun before he made his way to the check-in table for his guns. Roach pulled out the magazine clip from his MP5 and set the clip on the table. Then he checked the barrel for any leftover bullets. Roach knew he still have a couple rounds in his clip, so he expects to see one in the chamber. He set that down on the table too before he put his MP5 on the table.

Rinse and repeat. Roach’s 1911 handgun. Point down. Safety check. Magazine clip pull from the gun. Check the chamber. Put each item on the table. Knife remains in hilt, but it was place on the table. Bulletproof vest next. No grenades. Back away from the table.

The soldier behind the table took some quick notes about Roach’s equipment until he silently pointed at his cheek. Roach shook his head. He didn’t need medical attention. The soldier continued his notes then dismissed him.

Roach nodded his head as a silent thanks. Standard gun procedures were done. Roach wanted nothing more than to head to his quarters and take a warm shower. But paperwork was always next after weapons check.

Roach took off his gloves and rub his eyes. It was going to be long day. Maybe he could somehow bribe himself to work. He looks up at the sky and notice the faint orange glow on the East horizon. The sun will be up soon.

Baby girl.

His baby girl has to be up. She loves waking up before sunrise. Maybe she has time to hang out with him as he works. It’s been a week since he saw her, so he doubts she’s fuss. She can be his little ray of sunshine through this. Roach could already feel the happiness swell up in his stomach. He stops rubbing his eyes and ran his hands through his dirty blonde hair. Then he starts speed walking towards warehouse 3 – helicopter maintenance building.

Her name was Brooklyn, but Roach likes calling her “Baby girl.” It’s because she’s pretty young for her age, but she can get the job done. Brooklyn was only here for a few months, but she impressed everyone in warehouse 3. Now the crew is begging the higher-ups to find more like her. Roach doesn’t mind, but he hopes Brooklyn would stay here. She belongs here. She belongs to him.

Roach was attached to her the moment she showed up. One morning, he couldn’t fall back to sleep, so he went out for a run. He spotted her laying down in the new helicopter model like it belong to her. It was cold morning, so she was curled up in a tight ball, but that didn’t stop Roach from walking up to her. He was memorized by her silky, midnight hair. The shiny that reflect off of her hair was like watching black water flow. She must have heard him because as soon as he sat down, she opened her eyes. Her beautiful ocean deep blue eyes.

Roach got to the warehouse door and walk inside. For a split second, he expected her to wait at the door for him, but she wasn’t. He really missed her.

“Baby girl! Where are you?” Roach called out. In a matter of seconds, he hears something crashing before he saw a shadow moving towards him. Roach had quick reflexes because she instantly jumps into his arms. “Hey Baby girl, did you miss me?”

The instant purring confirms his question. 

“Yeah, I know Baby girl. I miss you too. You want to come with me to my office?” Roach got a quiet meow and more purring. “Good. Now we have to make sure, Captain grumpy pants doesn’t find out or I’m dead.”

Another meow. Roach smiled then adjusted his cat so he could cradle her like a baby.

“Alright Baby girl, I’m talk off your ears until we get to my office because honestly. . . it was a shitting week.” Roach walk towards the warehouse door and open the door with one hand. Then he made his way towards his office. “First off, I didn’t have sleep whatsoever in the last 3 days. The most amount of sleep I had was 2 hours max. A whole group of baddies were to bomb us out. I tried to throw a few grenades for cover, but 2 out of 3 were duds. Talk about pissing lucky.”

Meooow.

“Yeah. Since we couldn’t avoid the shells for long. We had to move underground. I guess the group we were dealing has the funding to build an underground bunker. You think it would be safe, but the moment we started shooting each other. Bullets were flying everywhere. I was lucky to avoid most of the bullets bu-but. . .” Roach stop in the middle of an empty road, as he felt a prickle of panic in his chest. The shock of his near-death was catching up. He closed his eyes and focus on the small bundle of warmth in his arms. 

Roach took a deep breath in . . . then out. He opened his eyes and look around. He needed to get a grasp on reality. He could see some of the early risers already getting their day started. Some went on a run. Others are trying to finish tasks from yesterday. A good handful already have an assignment going. Roach felt something tickle his nose.

He looks down at his cat. Brooklyn was trying to paw his nose. He gave her smile and continue his walk. 

Roach swallow the lump in his throat and said, “I nearly died. . . again. I know, I know. I should talk to someone, but . . . you know . . . well I already got you to listen to me.” 

Meoooooow

Roach sighed, “It’s not easy you know. I could talk to my team or my friends here, but how can I bring it up? We’ve all face death so I’m not special. Hell, some people would rather avoid the topic. . . Maybe I could talk to HIM, but then again, he might want to avoid talking about it. . .”

Mew

“Ghost. You know Simon. I told you about him already.” Roach walk up to his office building. He put a finger to lips to tell Brooklyn to be quiet. He pushes on door and looks around. No one. Roach shook his head as he realizes that he was the only one responsible enough to try and do his paperwork early. Nonetheless, Roach was grateful that he was able to sneak in Brooklyn. He got to his shared office space and went in. 

Ghost was his other office mate, but he never used his space after a mission. He did his paperwork elsewhere. The higher-ups didn’t have a problem with him because his paperwork was always neat and on time. Unlike, the rest of the team. So, Roach was confident to know that he had Brooklyn all to himself. 

He set her on the desk.

“Anyways, Simon. My closest friend and teammate.” Roach could feel his cat’s judgmental stare piercing him until he sighed and said, “Also, my current crush.”

Meoow.

“Thanks. Look the point is, I’m not good at talking about this. I just want to finish my paperwork in peace. . .with occasional cuddles from you.” Roach sat down in his chair and look at his cat. “Okay?”

Mew

“Good. I’m glad we could come to an understand.” Roach smile at his cat before he dug threw his drawers to grab his worksheets. He grabs some Narrative pages, Faulty equipment report, Timesheets, and Report memos. Roach knew for sure that it was going to be long day.


	2. Chapter 2

Roach should have guess that the best way to end a hellish week was to have hellish day too. Everyone in his team didn’t wake up until the afternoon. Roach was able to finish his paperwork, but a couple of his teammates want to confirm details together. Roach’s paperwork was completely thrash by the time everyone agreed on something. In the end, Roach was running around trying to collect everything. 

Unfortunately to add to the mess, one of his higher-ups saw the mess and reprimand him on the spot. Now he has to rewrite everything and send an addition revised written copy to said higher-up. In order to prove that he could take his job seriously. Everyone apologizes to him, but that didn’t make him feel better. Roach was given more of the same work. Now he has to stay at the office longer then he hoped he would.

Brooklyn manage to stay out of sight, but Roach let her play outside. He felt it got too stuffy because of him. She didn’t need to suffer when he was got mad. 

Roach sigh for the millionth time that day, but of all things that bugged him the most, it was being alone. Alone with his thoughts. 

Roach touch his cheek and let his fingers ghost the wound. It’d close up, but the thought of death being close sent a prickle to his chest. Roach close his eyes and tried his breathing techniques. 

Before he could start, Roach heard the faintest knocking. He sighed while lean back on his chair and rub his eyes again. The last thing he needed was visitors. Roach hopes it’s not Mr. Hard-ass because he didn’t have the patience to deal with him. But fuck it. If he cracks, then he gets out of paperwork duty. 

“Come in.” Roach could hear whoever enters the office and stops in front of his desk. He took his hands off his eyes and let his vision adjust to the light. “Forgive me, sir. I have the paperwork ready. I was just about to-” Roach’s words die off when he got a good look of the person in front of him. It’s Ghost. 

Roach was caught off guard by his appearance. His well-being was fine, but it was the clothing that caught his attention. Ghost wore his usual gray hoodie and army issue cargo pants. Though Roach is still upset that Ghost still cover his face. But no, Roach was caught off guard by the black cat ears on his head and the long fluffy tail behind him. If Roach had to be honest, this was the most random moment he came face with. Though it wasn’t an unwelcome sight. It made Ghost look cute, and that was something that doesn’t often happens.

Then again, maybe it wasn’t Ghost. Maybe it’s a prank.

“Ghost?” Roach ask with hesitation.

“Yea, mate?” As calm as ever he reply back. So, it is Ghost.

“Do you need something?”

“I hear that you’cha didn’t get any rest, so I wanted to check’n.”

“Yeah, I was hoping to finish some work before I went to sleep. It’s taking a while, but I’m nearly done.”

“It took you all day to wook on some papers?” Ghost tilt his head to the side. On any other given day, Roach wouldn’t have care. BUT. The fucking ears moved with him and Ghost couldn’t look any cuter.

“Yeah, it did. I was nearly done with the reports, but some things came up. So, I was roped into working late.” Roach could feel the stress flooding back to him as he recalled his day. He reaches up with hand to rub his head in frustration. “Honestly, it’s been a long day.”

“Are you going to be okay, mate?” Roach feels a smile creep on his face when he heard concern in Ghost’s voice. He was worried.

“Yeah. . . Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

“You sure?” Before Roach could answer, Ghost follow up with, “And don’t give me that “yeah” crap. I want you to talk to me, Roach.” Ghost walk around the desk and sat on the desk in front of him.

Roach reply with a low hum and look away from Ghost. He really didn’t want to talk about this. Not yet.

“Roach?” The sun was setting. It must have been 1900 hours by now. Roach let Brooklyn out 200 hours ago. Maybe he should check in on her.

“Bug?” Roach could check in on Brooklyn and take her back to the warehouse. Then he could give the papers to Mr. Hardass afterwards. He didn’t the papers right away. Hell, maybe he’ll end up throwing them out. Roach wouldn’t be surprised.

“Gary.” That caught Roach’s attention. Ghost never said his first name unless it was something serious or they were alone. Considering the fact that they were already alone together. Roach knew he couldn’t get out of this one.

“Simon.”

“I heard you nearly die today,” Ghost whispered. 

“Everyone nearly dies here. It’s not a big deal if I get shot,” Roach reply.

“You and I know that ain’t true.” The prickle in his chest return. It didn’t help that Ghost was sitting in front of him. Gary couldn’t lie to him.

“Sometimes, it feels like it. . . Ghost-” Gary could feel a lump in his throat. He tried to swallow it before he could start again. He really didn’t want to talk about this right now, but then again, when will he?

Ghost must have senses Gary’s hesitation, or either he took too long to answer. Because Ghost wrap his arms around Gary’s shoulder and pull him into his torso. Gary return the hug and wrap his arms around Ghost’s waist. Gary close his eyes and tried his breathing techniques once more. Instead of a breath of fresh air, Gary got to breathe in Simon. Everything that is Simon fill his nose.

The faint cinnamon bodywash in his clothes. The same bodywash that drove Gary on the edge on multiple accounts. Now its scent brings comfort to him. It was very faint compare to the musky sweat, but Gary didn’t complain. The sweat had some sentiment to it. Gary could feel the memories flow as he remembers the times when he and Ghost would spend time together. They would train in the heat, spar each other, or do dumb shit that made them sweat buckets. It might have been gross, but Gary couldn’t deny that he enjoys his natural odor. To him, it smells sweet.

Everything that was Simon fill his heart. The only thing that caught his brain’s attention was the clean plastic scent from the cat ears and tail. It was new and it wasn’t Simon. Gary almost wish it’d disappear if he didn’t enjoy his look.

“Ghost?” Gary’s voice was muffled from Simon’s hoodie.

“Gary, you can call me Simon. . . It’s okay. I’m not mad.” Gary could feel Simon play with his hair. He ran his fingers through his locks before he lightly scratches his scalp. Gary tighten his hold on Simon.

“Simon, can we not talk about this? Please.” Roach beg.

Ghost let out a heavy sigh before he said, “Okay bug. I’ll give you choice: do you wa’ a distraction, or do you want t’ talk about tis?” Simon pull his hand from his head to press lightly against his cheek where the bullet grazed him. Panic fill Gary’s chest.

“Distraction.”

“Alright mate. I’ll let it go, but I want you t’ promise me tat we’ll talk bout tis.” 

Gary nodded his head. Simon could feel his heart drop because Gary was never this quiet. Usually, he’s more playful and cheerier. Simon could hardly remember a time where he didn’t have his glowing smile. Now, his bug is broken. Gary didn’t want to show him or the world his face.

Simon heard from a few of his colleagues about the mess Roach and the team had to face. Luckily no one was seriously hurt, but from what Simon heard, it could have gone south at any moment. Ghost almost wish he could face the same trouble and fight by his side. Hell, he would have been grateful if half of the enemy troops would have come to fight him. But that was wishing for the unfortunate to happen to everyone, and that wouldn’t have been fair to his own team.

Then again, Ghost is fucking furious. Nobody hurts his friend. His teammate. His bug.

“Simon?” Ghost closed his eyes and let the anger drain from his body. He didn’t need to kick anyone ass any time soon. He needs to comfort his bug first.

“Yea mate?” 

“Thank you.”

“No problem, bug.” Simon pry himself off of Gary and held his head in both hands. “Anything for you.” 

Gary didn’t reply, but the smile on his face told Simon that things are going to be okay. Simon could feel his chest grow lighter and hopeful because his beautiful bug is back. Everything is okay again.

Before Simon could pull his hands away from Gary’s face, Gary places his own hands over Simon’s wrists.

In an instant, the whole mood shifted between the two friends. They both knew the line between them has been cross. Everything could change for them but yet, the only thing that was on their minds was of each other.

Gary kept his grip on Simon’s wrists and tried to search his eyes for a sign. A sign that told him that this was mistake and he should move on, but Ghost’s eyes were hard to see. Worry started to bubble in his stomach because he knew that Ghost could see everything in him, but he couldn’t read anything from Ghost. He tried to look for sign in his facial features, but that was just as difficult because of his damn mask. Hell, at this point, Roach wonders if Ghost had real cat ears would that have given him a sign. He just needed a glimpse of emotion to tell him something.

Gary may not see Ghost’s eyes, but Simon could see everything that was in his. All his emotions, thoughts, and actions reflected in his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes that Simon couldn’t get enough of, and it was staring at him with hope. Hope for something more than friends. Something that beyond a relationship between a lieutenant and his sergeant. Something they only had together. It was something that Simon couldn’t deny because he felt the same way. 

It was a need to express their love for each other in a way, they could understand together.

Everything about this was wrong, but Simon wouldn’t deny it felt so goddamn good to see the need in Gary’s eyes. A need that Simon knew he could fulfill because he too, needed Gary.

Simon took a deep breath and lean his forehead against Gary’s. 

“Gary, I’ve known you for a long time now. I’ve been your friend ‘nd comrade throughout those years. I understand that you’ve been through a lot recently. I don’t want t’ take advantage of your vulnerability, but I. . . I love you. . . and it pains me to see you hurt. I want t’ hold you ‘nd kiss you. I want to love you with my heart because you, of all people, bring light to my dark world. A light that went out recently. A light I’m willing to bring back over ‘nd over again with the same burning passion I have for ya.” Simon could see the love in Gary’s eyes, but he needs to hear Gary say the words. The words that would allow Simon to comfort and love him. To eraser everything that darken his world. 

“Simon,” Gary whisper, “I don’t know how I can express to you how happy I am right now, but I’ll try. Simon Riley, I love yo-” 

Roach was instantly cut off by pair of lips. Every word that he wanted to express and share with Simon was lost. The only thing left on Gary’s mind was how incredibly soft his lips were. Before Gary could respond, Ghost pull back and lean on his forehead once more.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Ghost whisper, “I couldn’t help myself.”

Roach smile, “It’s fine.” Roach could feel his excitement bubble in his stomach. He squeezes his eyes shut and started laughing his fears away. “I really enjoy it.” 

“Did ‘cha really?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Gary open his eyes and pull away to get a good look at Ghost. He was still wearing his usually glasses and mask, but the bottom part of his mask was push up over his nose. Gary let go of Simon’s wrists so he could touch his face with his hand. He traces his jawline with his fingertips and settle under his chin. As gentle as he could be, he outlines his lips with his thumb then he lightly pushes on it. Soft and plump. 

Simon let out a heavy sigh before he said, “Roach, you’re killing me.”

“Could you blame me? I want to remember everything about your face while I can,” Roach said.

“My mouth isn’t my face.”

“No shit, I’m working with what I got,” Roach could feel his heart swell with joy as Ghost started to laugh.

“Cheeky bastard.”

“I’m your cheeky bastard.”

“Aye, that you are.” Ghost kisses Roach’s thumb. “As I am yours.”

“Mmm, sounds romantic,” Roach pull Ghost in for kiss then he put on a fake British accent and said, “My cheeky bastard.”

“Stick to your American accent, love. You sound cuter that way.” Ghost grab Roach’s free hand and intertwin their fingers together.

“Alrighty then, partner.”

“Like I said, cheeky,” Ghost chuckled then kiss Roach’s cheek.

“Simon, can I ask you something?” Gary ask, “It’s been bugging me for a while now and I’ve got to know,”

Ghost let out another sigh and said, “Shoot.”

“What’s with the cat ears?”

“Wha?”

“What’s with the cat ears?” Roach repeated.

“Nuthin, it’s nuthin.” Ghost pull his face from Roach so he could look away, but Roach wasn’t having it. He got up from his chair and move his whole body closer to Ghost. He tried to search his eyes, but it’s too dark in the room. So, he looks up at the ears as if they would give him an answer.

“Simon, it’s something if you say it’s nothing,” Gary squeeze Ghost’s hand and whisper in his ear, “Please Simon. I promise I wouldn’t laugh.”

“I would’ve preferred it if you laugh at me then look at me funny,” Ghost squeeze his hand back.

“Simon, I could never laugh at you. I’m just curious about the ears.” Gary can see a faint blush on Simon’s face. He smiles and gave his cheek another quick peck. “Please?”

“I wanted t’ chee’ you up, so I wore ‘em. After I hear about what hap’n today, I figure that I could make you laugh. So, I put ‘em on and waited for ya to sho’. Guess that was kind of dumb, eh? Since you were stuck here the whole day.” 

“You wore this all day?” 

“Aye.”

“Just so you could make me smile?”

“Yea,” Ghost breathe, “You always so good t’ me, love. I wanted t’ be able t’ give back t’ you as you’ve done for me. Because I love ya.” 

The world was coming to a slow stop. Everything in Roach’s senses felt like it heighten. The sounds, the smells, and the feelings. Gary could feel his stomach bubbling with butterflies as his chest felt weightless once more. The burning sensation as he held Simon’s hand lit the blood in his veins on fire. A tickling sensation he could feel everywhere in his body. Hands. Feet. Chest. Groin. It was suffocating in the best way possible. Loving this man. This suppose ghost in the dark. His Simon. His beautiful, handsome Simon.

Gary close the distance between them so he could kiss Ghost again. It was a firm gentle kiss. Enough to express a need, but innocent enough to remain pure. Until Roach lick Ghost’s bottom lip and suck on it. Roach heard a low groan, but he didn’t know who made the sound. He was too focus on the taste as he let his tongue drift in Simon’s month. It didn’t surprise him that it tastes of coffee. Simon’s favorite drink after a mission was always coffee. Their tongues dancing around each other. Licking everything they could inside their months. Teeth. Tongue. Top. Bottom. Until, they separate for air. Breathing heavily on each other’s lips.

“I love you,” Gary whisper on Simon’s lips.

“I lov-” Simon was cut off mid-sentence as Roach kiss him again. Then he gave Ghost the most shit-eating grin. 

“Payback for earlier.”

“Would you have preferred it if I didn’t kiss ya?” Ghost asks.

“No. I just want an excuse to kiss you,” Roach said and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Love, you don’t need excuses. You can kiss me anytime,” Ghost purred, “And any place.” 

Gary chuckles before he mutters, “Kinky kitty."

“Goddamit Roach!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I wrote sooo much for this. Forgive me if it seems like a random chapter. I didn't tell anyone that I would post another chapter for this story. I thought I would keep it a surprise. Since I feel like I troll everyone with Brooklyn the cat. I really wanted to include her in this chapter, but I felt like it would go off topic, and I wanted a Ghost and Roach moment. Especially when I didn't write anything that progress into a relationship until now. Also I didn't know how long it was going to be. I just kept writing and writing and writing until I took a long break. Then I wrote again. So, it might seem off. I think. I don't know. I kept getting roadblocks in this story. Let me know if I made any grammer mistakes or any mistakes in general. I'm too embarrass to read my writing. I can't tell if it's good. It's 12 am in my area. I probably shouldn't have posted this late. Oh well. I might regret something about this chapter, but I have too many ideas that I want to get started on. Final note, I posted this story because I wanted an excuse to imagine Ghost in cat ears.
> 
> Please leave a review.


End file.
